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Valentine’s Day is a time for romance, connection, and sensuality. But, for women and couples pursuing IVF, those can all feel like illusive and fleeting experiences.
Not only has the act of conceiving a baby become more of a business enterprise than the mysterious fun and games it used to be, the side effects of IVF throw another wrench into the works. Connecting with your Valentine during IVF can be a healing way to nourish your relationship and mutual appreciation, rekindling those pre-infertility diagnosis embers.
5 Ways to Connect with Your Valentine
Once couples get pregnant and become parents, we often hear them lament how they wish they would have focused on themselves and couple time when they had the chance. The pursuit of fertility often pushes all other needs and wants to the sidelines, and that catches up with you later.
Give your future baby (and selves) the gift of a bonded, connected, and united partnership by making your romantic and intimate relationship a priority. Here are 5 ideas to get started, connecting with your Valentine during IVF.
1. Join the crowd and make it a date night
When is the last time you had a bonafide date night? While we understand the urge to pass up the busier Valentine’s Day crowds, we say join the masses and be inspired. Be part of the normal surge of humanity, rather than feeling like you’re separate or alone (a common feeling for those pursuing IVF).
Read, Date Night in KC While TTC for ideas.
2. Give each other foot massages
Full-body massages are lovely, but they are also labor intensive. We find foot massages to be almost as equally satisfying, and much easier on the masseuse. Start with a warm foot bath, add some epsom salts and essential oils, and prepare to enter into bliss. The post, How to Give a Great Foot Massage, shares some pointers to make it a great one.
In addition to feeling great afterwards, giving and receiving comforting and relaxing touch will also help to make you feel more connected.
3. Cook Dinner Together & Watch a Romantic Comedy
Sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine. In addition to being a natural stress reliever, laughing:
- Relaxes the whole body
- Triggers endorphin release
- Bonds us to the people we’re laughing with
- Boosts immunity
- Relieves feelings of anger or anxiety
We recommend putting on your favorite playlist and cooking a favorite dinner together (may recreating the menu on your first dinner date night?). Live it up a little by whipping up some Valentine’s Day-Themed Mocktails. Then, check out Rolling Stone Magazine’s, 50 Greatest Romantic Comedies of All Time, pick a flick or two, and get busy laughing together.
4. Head Outdoors and Seek a New Adventure
Valentine’s Day 2021 coincides with President’s Weekend, which means extra days off. Take advantage of this opportunity to head outdoors and seek a new adventure. Studies have correlated multiple benefits to spending time outdoors and trying something new. These benefits include stress relief, the release of “feel good” hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, and the ceasing of obsessive thoughts (like the obsessive fertility treatment loop details).
Here are a handful of ideas for adventure in and around Kansas City – with all levels of “adventure” represented:
- Give your inner-adventurer a thrill at GoApe Zip Lining
- Pack a picnic lunch and head for a day hike along the West Ridge Trail
- Stroll through the beautiful Overland Park Botanical Gardens
- Bike the Gary L. Haller Trail (not recommended if you are in the middle of an IVF cycle or newly pregnant)
- Hit the West Bottoms Food Trucks and market and get adventurous with your palate
5. Write each other a true love letter
When is the last time you hand-wrote a love letter to one another? Find a moment to spend time reflecting on what drew you to your Valentine in the first place. What is it that made you fall and love and determine that s/he was “The One?” Write it all down and put it in an exceptionally mushy card. There’s nothing better than expressing love – and feeling loved – so your love letter will be a welcome gesture and something you can refer to when things aren’t feeling as connected as you’d like.
The team at RRC hopes you and your sweetheart are able to rekindle the magic and enjoy reconnecting this Valentine’s day during IVF and beyond.